Magenta Ain't Pretty

i started officially in the giant red & white metal tube on the 6th!

unexpected and pretty much unprepared. i went into my typical frenzy panic mood, but luckily the captain was extremely nice. he didn't rush me, knowing i was already rushed, and not to forget nervous too. i had no idea what to expect. of course the occasionally mind freeze had to happen. not with the flying, but knowledge.

it's been a never-ending learning process, and sometimes you take all the tiny finer points for granted. so when you're asked to recall, you get stumped for words.

almost like having a key, with a million doors in front of you to figure which it belongs to. in my head i'm shouting, "I KNOW THIS", yet i couldn't phrase it out in words because it all seemed to fuzzy. yes, study. i know. there's only so much i can store at my fingertips. my mind don't work the same like an external hard disk ready for plug and play, though i wish it did.

captain was incredible. he discussed, even asked for opinions. it is people like him who make flying so freaking awesome beyond words could describe. at one point he turned and said, "RELAX... am i that scary?", we both laughed because it was me scaring myself out, instead of him.

many will say you can't know everything, i don't find any consolation in that. we all know our limitations and capacities, it's just a little disappointing at this stage. i'm the type of guy who's always trying to note down as much as i can, and most times i get amazed with the intricate details i jot down too late. sadly, i don't read those notes because there's already a million other stuff to do. things we have learnt, we hope remember. guiltily, i don't revise cause i feel its exciting to learn something of the unknown. okay, nevermind...

i'm still relishing the moment. this is where i want to be. gotta get through some turbulent times first :)


for someone who never traveled much, here's to bintulu, k. kinabalu, and medan! the sky's blue-er from flight levels :D

*******

she: *sounded like* salmon, are you mixed?

me: salmon? it's shar-man laaa... yes i'm mixed.

capt: is he mixed? of course! norwegian and german salmon mix!

wth.

Options Leave No Choice

people who don't know, think superficially. we're all guilty of it. as much as i should give people the benefit of that, sometimes i can't find the capacity to. maybe it's the situation, the timing, probably even the nonchalant tone.

maybe because it happens one two many a time, then annoyance kicks in. because redundancy is a bore.


people who don't know, think superficially. and i wish i remember how that felt. to be able to know the simplicity of things, and not in depth, without a fear, with a whole lot of glimmer. there is a solace if we just had to touch the surface, and nothing more. there will be no boulder on our shoulders to add weight in our daily lives. without responsibilities, there will be no consequences.

but that's not healthy. i need to know more. still, people who don't know, think superficially, and sometimes that gets on my nerves, if the same person keeps doing it again and again like an energizer bunny. or was it duracell?

*******

today, i saw an old man walking through rows of shops in clogs. the really classic wooden red clogs, with the plastic semi-cover on top. i don't think he was on some prank show. you know what was amazing, he walked so gracefully, without the clogs making a racket. talented. i don't know why was he in clogs, but i guess that looks better than crocs, and when was the last time you saw clogs? worth a mention, don't you think?

i also saw a mind teasing signboard today. it read:

AWAS
AMARAN
KERAS

something's wrong somewhere, no?

-i spout crap-

Snipped, From Your Thoughts?

" when you develop an infatuation for someone,
you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you.

it doesn't need to be a good reason,
a bad one will do just as well.

taking photographs of the night sky,
for example,
in the long run that's just the kind of dumb irritating habit that would cause you to split up.



but at that time,
it's the charming eccentricity you've been searching for all these years. "

- "the beach" -

*******

i cannot understand some of the people i have met in my life. when i existed there right in front of you, you had to act superior-like. we were always on level ground. difference you and me, i never thought you were great as how you did yourself.

sure i've made mistakes before in my life. if that should be a reason for you to act that i'm beneath you, fine. you had a reason to judge.

but why the sudden fascination, and change of heart to be so-called friends again?

same goes for those who never were mary poppins.

i know people mature over the years, but i also know some don't. i need proof of some sort. or genuine initiation. mouse clicks don't count. no, i'm not mean.

Some Make, Some Break

relationships can progress and digress, take a new dimension altogether. that is what i've learn quite recently. its hard to say where one can go at this point of time, but its fulfilling to know in future that some things have gone right.

relationships are complex. some seem eternally trusting, till a particular decision can change it into a rocky boat ride. some, a case of dog and cat, turning into a formidable force together. some surviving even through ugly stints.


i feel, relationships, like everything else in life, are fragile. how the future can sway either way. how it can just evaporate into thin air without knowing. how plainly unexpected it can seem.

this is just my thoughts on friendship, nothing more. don't be confused.

i must say, it's the friendships that i never thought much about, that somehow manages to change my life, and become an important factor, that i will always appreciate. a true blessing, a gift i never saw coming.

some of us, are actually humans too ;)

Surpressing The Wreck

i made a stop at one of the R&R along the north-south highway to have dinner last night. one of the stalls felt the need to be more creative than the rest. "sirap" was renamed "Roziah's Juice". i can't remember the exact, but it was a feminine name no doubt.

it read and sounded rather crude, if you get what i mean.


the other day i was watching a local magic show on the tv. i know how magic is fake, and its just an illusion, but i wanted to see what he's got to flaunt till he had his one tv show. there was this one particular trick, which had david blaine written on it vividly.

the local magician caught a shooting bullet with his mouth. a paint ball bullet. hmmmmm are fakes our only options?

*******

deepavali came and went. so quick the weekend is gone. this year, i did not get any new clothes.

instead i got new sheets :D somehow, this feels more fulfilling. there's something about snugly new crisp bed sheets.